If you feel like you're stuck in a loop with someone from your past, you might need to start breaking ungodly soul ties to finally get your headspace back. It's that heavy, lingering feeling where you're physically apart from someone, but emotionally or spiritually, it's like they're still living rent-free in your mind. You know the vibe—you try to move on, but your thoughts keep circling back to an old flame, a toxic friend, or even a family member who just drains the life out of you.
It isn't just about being "obsessed" or having a crush. It's deeper. When we connect with people, especially in intense or intimate ways, we leave a bit of ourselves behind and take a bit of them with us. Usually, that's a beautiful thing. But when that connection is rooted in something unhealthy, manipulative, or flat-out wrong, it becomes a weight. Breaking those ties isn't just a "nice to do" for your mental health; it's often the only way to actually feel like yourself again.
What Are These Ties Anyway?
Think of a soul tie like a spiritual bungee cord. In a healthy relationship, it's a bond that brings support and love. But an "ungodly" one—and we're using that word to describe things that are out of alignment with your peace and well-being—is more like a chain. It keeps you tethered to a version of yourself you're trying to outgrow.
Maybe it started with a relationship that was built on control rather than care. Or perhaps it was a "situationship" that left you feeling used and empty. These ties happen when we give parts of our heart, mind, and body to someone in a way that doesn't respect our own worth. To be honest, we often don't even realize we're forming them until we try to walk away and realize we're still being "pulled back" by an invisible force.
Signs You're Dealing with a Toxic Connection
You might be wondering if this is actually what's going on with you or if you're just having a hard time moving on. Well, there are usually some pretty clear indicators. If you find yourself constantly checking their social media even though it makes you miserable, that's a red flag. Or maybe you have "conversations" with them in your head all day, defending yourself or replaying old arguments.
Another big sign is feeling a weird sense of loyalty to someone who treated you poorly. If you find yourself making excuses for their behavior or feeling like you "owe" them something despite their toxicity, you're likely dealing with an ungodly tie. It's like your internal compass is broken, and you're pointing toward them instead of toward your own healing.
It's important to realize that these ties aren't just romantic. You can have them with a boss who manipulated you, a "best friend" who was actually a frenemy, or even through shared trauma. If the connection leaves you feeling depleted, anxious, or "sticky"—like you can't quite wash the influence of that person off your life—it's time to look into breaking ungodly soul ties.
The Process of Breaking Free
The good news is that you aren't stuck forever. Breaking ungodly soul ties is a process, but it's one you can start right now. It usually begins with a decision. You have to decide, for real this time, that you're done being a pawn in that old dynamic.
Acknowledge and Repent
This might sound a bit formal, but in a conversational sense, it just means owning your part. You have to admit that you let this person in further than you should have. Maybe you ignored the red flags, or maybe you sought validation from them that you should have been finding elsewhere.
When you acknowledge where things went sideways, you take the power back. You stop being a victim of the "tie" and start being the person who chooses to cut it. It's about saying, "I shouldn't have been in that headspace, and I'm choosing to step out of it now."
Using Your Words
There is a huge power in actually speaking things out loud. You don't need a fancy ritual, but you do need to be intentional. Many people find that praying or making a verbal declaration helps tremendously. You might say something like, "I am breaking ungodly soul ties between myself and [Name]. I renounce any hold they have on my emotions or my future."
It sounds simple, but verbalizing your exit strategy sets a boundary in your own mind. It tells your subconscious—and the spiritual world—that the "contract" is over. You're no longer available for the drama.
Forgiveness Is the Secret Weapon
Here's the part most people hate: you have to forgive them. Now, wait—forgiveness doesn't mean what they did was okay. It doesn't mean you have to call them up and grab coffee. In fact, please don't do that.
Forgiveness is actually for you. When you hold onto bitterness or a desire for revenge, you're actually tightening the tie. Think about it—anger is a very strong emotional bond. As long as you're furious with them, you're still connected. By forgiving them, you're essentially saying, "I'm not going to let your mistakes keep me in a cage anymore. I release you so I can be free." It's the ultimate "cut" to the cord.
Practical Steps to Stay Free
Once you've done the internal work, you've gotta do the external work. You can't pray to break a tie and then spend three hours scrolling through their Instagram at 2:00 AM. That's like trying to heal a cut while you keep picking at the scab.
- Digital Detox: Block them. Delete the old texts. Clear out the photo gallery. If their name popping up on your phone sends your heart into a tailspin, you aren't ready to "just be friends." Give yourself the gift of silence.
- Physical Boundaries: If you have their old hoodie or a gift that makes you sad every time you see it, get rid of it. Donate it, throw it away, or give it back if you must—but get it out of your space. Your environment affects your spirit.
- Find New Circles: Sometimes we stay tied to someone because they represent our entire social world. You might need to find new hobbies or groups where that person's name never even comes up.
Healing Isn't an Overnight Thing
Don't be discouraged if you feel a "phantom pain" every now and then. Just like a physical wound, breaking ungodly soul ties takes time to heal completely. You might have days where you feel totally free and light, and then a song plays on the radio that brings it all back.
That doesn't mean the tie isn't broken; it just means you're human. When those moments happen, just remind yourself of the decision you made. Re-affirm that you've moved on. The goal isn't to forget the person ever existed—the goal is for their existence to no longer control your emotional state.
Living Your New Life
The best part about this whole process is getting yourself back. When you aren't pouring all that emotional energy into a dead-end connection, you have so much more room for things that actually matter. You'll find you have more energy for your goals, more peace in your quiet moments, and more room in your heart for healthy, life-giving relationships.
Breaking ungodly soul ties is really about reclaiming your own soul. It's about deciding that you are worth more than a toxic attachment. It's a brave thing to do, and honestly, it's one of the most rewarding things you'll ever do for yourself. So, take a deep breath, say the words, and start walking toward the freedom you deserve. You've got this.